I'm stressed, I'm blessed

I wanna share my saddest moment of 2012..(so far)
I was blessed with a pregnancy but i lost the baby the same day i knew the news..
actually i lost the baby first then i knew i'm pregnant..
while typing this entry i couldn't help myself from crying..
try to redha but I couldn't help myself from remembering those moments
I wont go into detail..I wish I could erase those scary moment from my mind
Macamana kain baju kurung ku lencun dek darah..
macamana ketulan gumpalan darah membuak dari celah kangkang..
how panic and scared I was and yet I must be strong..
I went to KPJ Tawakal to see this Doc..
He confirmed I was pregnant and the same time I lost the baby
Bergetar badan ku menahan sebak..aku try senyum menandakan aku redha..
I really don't know how am I going to tell Mr Kumbang..
Nak pengsan pon ada..tapi aku kena kuat sebab Doc tu suruh aku balik and discuss with husband..
suh datang esok utk D&C
WTH?Aku yang dah confirm berlumuran darah ni di suruh balik lagi
He kept on saying in government hospital is a lot cheaper..
Adoi, aku stress..
Di saat tu aku pikir, that's the different between private and government hospital
There's no humanity in private, money only..
Maybe dia ingat aku tak mampu bayar kot..
In government hospital they accept you whoever you are,
No offense to anyone out there..
It's just a personal thought from an emotional mother-who-just-lost-her-baby..
Maybe he just did whatever the procedure from the hospital..
He asked me to come again tomorrow at 8.30 am
but I swear I wont meet him again..anyway thank u doc..U did help me though :)
I forced myself to walk to the parking lot..
Kak Ainul, the one who had been with me from the moment I had my 'tumpah darah'
supported me a lot..
Thank u, sister..I owe u so much.. Only Allah can pay your kindness..
On our way to send me back home suddenly I had this stomach pain..
At last I tried to give a call to my dearest gynea, Dr Marsita Mansor.
Oh, actually I want to meet her at first place but I called the clinic and she had 29 patients were waiting for her..
that was why I decided to go to the hospital..
Ok, back to the story..I was so happy when I heard Dr Marsita's voice over the phone.
I thanked her for picking up the phone by knowing how busy she was at the moment.
I told her my condition and she shouted," Wani, you come here NOW!"
Here was the kemuncak in my story,
When I stepped into her clinic, the blood was getting heavier. rasa macam dalam movie pon ade
I couldn't walk since darah turun macam hujan.
I could see everybody's were panic as I am and sympathy too, I guess..
I met her and she confirmed my pregnancy was 6 weeks *cry again*
She was so surprised when I told her I went to the hospital earlier but was told to go back home in my condition.
I had to go thru a process called Dilation & Curettage (D&C)
I have 2 injections, one is a painkiller and another one is anesthetic  (actually I really don't know the term, U may refer to expert for this)
Less than 5 minutes I passed out.
When I woke up, I heard Hadiff was callling me happily..
"Mama, Hadiff nak teet! (mama, hadiff nak susu mama).
Eventhough I felt so weak (maybe because the amount of blood that I have lost) I tried to feed Hadiff.
I realized I lost my baby but I thank Allah, I had one..
Seriously, when I heard Hadiff called me, it was like a wake up call for me..
Don't be sad, mama.. U still have me..
Yes, Hadiff, you are my pride and joy!

notakaki : please make du'a to me..hope I'm getting better and stronger..

Feveretteeehhh!!

I write this entry because I really want to have a vacation but time and budget is not being that 'kind' to me..


This place is one of my favourite place..


It's in Malaysia..that's right people..Malaysia truly Asia..


So, for you who is still looking a right place to enjoy your honeymoon, spending your quality time with your beloved one and those who love scenery sightseeing and divers..this are the place :)

 

The view from the airplane

U need to take a boat to get there.. Don't panic especially to those yang mabuk laut sebab it only takes about 20 minutes to reach there..

Almost there.. Along the way, you'll be fascinated with the views.. 

Arriving at destination.. There's Eva, the manager..She's nice and friendly..If I'm not mistaken I think she's Italian,or Brazilian eh,maybe Spanish..wutever laa..yang kompem bukan Malaysian

See the view..It's breathtaking I tell u..

I wish I own this place..*sigh*

Maleh akak nak citer.. korang tengokla senirik..Ni baru guna kamera cap ayam je..kalau DSLR bagai akak tak tau la nak cakap

Eh..eh..tetibe puleekkk

Ehh ehhh..lagi la tetibee

I'm not very good in taking photo..but I can assure you the real view is very fascinating!

I really love this pics..I dunno why

And this too

And thiss...

See, how happy I am..:))

This is Mabul Island. It's very close to Sipadan and Kapalai Island, Sabah.

I've told you Malaysia is a very beautiful country..

Actually there were more pictures taken but too lazy to upload..

Someone asked me about the price but I hardly remember the details.


but I'm sure the rate is different now..


Whatever it is, this place is value for money..


I was here for my honeymoon trip back in May 2009.


And I'll be back again, Insya Allah..with my driving oppss, my diving license!


For more information, please visit this website http://www.mabulwaterbungalows.com.






Notakaki : agaknye ramai tak tourist masuk Malaysia sebab baca blog ni?kalo dapat menyumbang pastu mestilah aku ni dikira berjasa kepada negara. Agaknya (lagi) aku dapat tak pingat ke, darjah kebesaran ke ape ke.. *DUSH* berangan!! sape baca blog syok snirik kau nih..okayy,off to reality  :))

Empty

Aku berfikir sejenak..

Erti kesyukuran..

Aku asyik bersuara,mencemuh,merungut,mengeluh..

Adakah aku lupa bahawa apa yang aku perolehi ini lebih ini lebih mencukupi..

Aku mungkin dalam kekurangan tetapi bukan kedaifan

Mungkin tak mewah tapi cukup

Aku diduga tetapi setimpal,

Sesungguhnya Yang Maha Esa tidak pernah menguji hambaNya lebih dari kemampuan hambaNya.

Pabila diduga aku mengeluh,

Lupakah aku Allah sedang berbicara dengan ku?

Kepada diri aku berpesan,

Jadilah hamba Allah yang redha,

tetapi bukan bererti tidak berjuang.

Allah tidak akan mengubah nasibku jika bukan aku yang mengubahnya.

Ya Tuhan,

Kurniakanlah kekuatan kepada hamba-hambaMu,

Satukanlah kami dalam Islam,

Rapatkan lah kami dalam satu saf yang kukuh.

Jadikanlah kami sebagai hambaMu yang bersyukur

Permudahkanlah segalanya agar kami dapat beribadah kepada Mu,

Dengan izinMu, 

Ya Rabb

Image googled, thank u and credit to owner :)
Hampir menangisi nasib anak ini :( Moga Allah melindungimu, nak

notakaki : Pesanan kepada diri..Moga dapat ambil iktibar

Pepper Lunch oh Pepper Lunch

Hello, semua!Saya skang nih tengah angau and mabuk kepayang dengan makanan ini

This is Beef Pepper Rice
Price : RM9.90

That's right,bebeh!It's Pepper Lunch,yummehs!

Yang bestnya, Pepper Lunch ni bukan sahaja sedap tapi cara makan juga sangat lah adventure.

It's easy. First we need to queue at the counter to order our food.Orders and payments are taken at the counter.Meaning, takdela orang nak layan sangat kalau kita call, Waiter!!

Secondly. Choose your meal.Choices of menu tu takdelah banyak sangat..just muat satu page sahaja but trust me, walaupun sikit tapi semua nampak menyelerakan.But my favourite mestila Beef Pepper Rice.My Kumbang loves their salmon.

Thirdly, they'll assigned you with a number and you may find your seat. Sementara itu, sudikan lah melihat di sekeliling yang rata-rata ada skrin besar menunjukkan cara-cara nak makan. Hehe, part ni yang best..

Bila makanan dah sampai tu, silalah praktikan..So,untuk Beef Pepper Rice ni, tuan-tuan dan puan-puan just gaul sahaja segala-galanya sampai masak dan rata.

Tadaaaa!!Dah siap, sila tunggu sejuk sikit baru makan.. Silap-silap boleh hilang deria rasa skejap kalau anda menunjukkan sikap gelojoh anda itu..hehe

Rasanya macamana? Macam nasi goreng,ey, tapi nasi goreng yang sedap la sebab die guna special butter mixed with fresh kernel corn and beef die..sangat lembut okayy..
Ditambah plak dengan pedas-pedas mild black pepper..so, rasenye,lemak,manis jagung and butter dan pedas pepper..purrfect!

Oh, yes! I'm addicted to it, seriously

Last week I ate this thing 3 days in row..

Hahaha..first I had it at ,Rasa Food court,KLCC.

then I had it at Pavillion,

and yesterday I had it at KlCC again..

U can have this at food court One Utama and Midvalley as well.

Do have a try..U wont regret..

Ok, thanks, bye

notakaki : nak layan gambar sambil telan airliur..napalah kat canteen bawah takde jual bendalah ni..